As it is another piece of this puzzle, it is essential to describe how I see Kara's home and Mercy Stables (as well as my house).
Kara's Home
Their barn is a beautiful shade of brown. It is light and sunlit. The air is clear and only smells of horses and beautiful mountains. One of their stalls is large, aired out very well, has lots of light and smells of the hill side. The fields may not be growing but they are rolling hills with ditches and climbs.
Their home is large, clean and feels like home. There is a touch of horse everywhere, but not too much. There is no clutter, a minimal amount of furniture. Yet nothing looks out of place and they have everything they need. Its open and there is room to breath. Room to live in peace and harmony.
The barn is right there, right behind their house. You can see the horses. Those beautiful girls...
Even their tack/feed room is pretty!!
Its open, clean, fresh...
The whole area is a pattern of beautiful browns and greens and an assortment of beiges. Earth colors. Natural. Natural. Natural. NATURAL.
The Stables & Home
The barn is metal. Tin. Metal walls, metal roof. The walls have holes and whistle with the wind, scaring both horses and me. Inside it is dark and musky. There are still unpleasant lingering scents. The stalls are enclosed, small, dark, like a cage. You need a flood light in able to clean out a stall properly. Its all wood on the inside. Old wood. Cheap wood. Dust. Splinters. Old hay. New Hay. Mold. Sad fences. Rust.
A tack room with all sorts of saddles and cruel bridles. Then one small corner with my bright possessions, pushed to the side because it is a disgrace.
My home...cluttered. Too much furniture. Red walls...orange walls. My room practically glows orangey red. So much furniture and things on that furniture. "Decoration"
Grays, ugly browns and greens, bright oranges and red. Industrial colors. Unnatural. Unnatural. Unnatural.
Unnatural.
Where do you think I'm happier?
I'm sure you're happier at Kara's. Clutter is disruptive, emotionally as well as physically. You feel at ease in a quiet, soothing environment with earth colors around you.
ReplyDeleteCan you paint your bedroom to reflect this? Small change, but it might help. Are you clenching your teeth? It might be tension and anxiety. Horses sense this. Are you placing expectations upon yourself--and your horses--that feel too high? Remember, ask a lot, accept a little, reward the slightest try.
Also remember to BREATHE. Check in with your emotions. Next time you feel that pain, ask your body what it's trying to tell you. I'm going to follow your journey more closely. I don't know if what I say will help, but it's what I can give.